... as Robin Sharma once said. And we usually realize it only when we start losing it. When we are young we think that we are capable of anything, that we can always go beyond our limits, forcing our bodies to achieve sometimes impossible, and we easily forget that those bodies also have their limits.
I am an active, sociable, travel-lover, happy young woman. A big dreamer and dream believer. Always wanting to give and get more from life, regardless the limits this same life can have for me. And then one day, this January 2015, I had to STOP. Or I should rather say: my back said STOP to me.
I've had some back problems already in the past, but this time I got hit really hard. And I can tell you: when you spend your days being hardly able to move, almost crawling to the bathroom and eating while lying on your belly because this is the position in which it doesn't hurt that much - you can either give up or fight it. In the end it's all in your head and how you will think of it.
You will have moments of doubts. I had moments when I wished I had some magic powers to simply take out my old backbone from under my skin and replace it with a brand new. But life is not a movie and I am not a magician.
You will try to look for sympathy and comfort in motivational books, in prayer, in a chit-chat with your Mom. It will work, but next time your sciatic nerve kicks you and almost puts you down - you will easily forget these.
But remember: one day the pain will calm down, you will finally be able to walk in the apartment a bit, cook a little something for you (instead of eating ready sandwiches or salads), take the lift to the ground floor to check your mailbox. And only then you will realize how even such small daily activities can make you happy. Things that maybe you didn't pay attention to until you lost them.
"Every problem is an opportunity in disguise". Today I truly believe that. You can even turn your sickleave into "fun" holidays: watching movies, series, reading books, writing your journal, replying to e-mails you didn't have time for before. And when you have so much time to kill, you also start thinking about your life, you realize what is really important for you and what is not, you re-prioritize, you amend your New Year's resolutions, you start dreaming about doing things you've never even thought of before. And then you tell yourself: once I get myself out of this, I will do my best to become the person I promised myself to become when I was stuck in my bed for a few weeks.What I will MOST remember from this experience though are the people around me, my Family and Friends, those living far away and those living close by, who were of great support to me during those hard times. Helpful, cheerful, loving, always there when I needed them most. It was great to know I was not alone in this.
"A friend in need is a friend indeed". I hope one day I'll be able to give back at least as much as I was given...
Today I can say that I won one battle, but this war is not over for me yet. But I'm ready to fight, as long as it will be necessary. There's simply too much at stake to give up now. It's my health... It's my life....
